Bochum v St Pauli - Match One

Last season 78 percent of our goals came from the front 3. The defence chipped in with three. The midfield mustered only six goals and four of those left the club with Daehli and Sobota.

Timo Schultz is hoping one man can change that. His name is Lukas Daschner and he manged 11 in the third division last season.

The next step has taken him to Hamburg and this season will be all about proving he can do it in the 2nd tier. And then perhaps even higher.

Unfortunately for Lukas on Monday night he had to wait before he could prove himself. A shambolic performance in the pokal at Elversberg meant St Pauli fans went into the league opener with severely reduces expectations. Timo Schultz clearly had the fear placed in him and quite reasonably went for safety first with his starting line up at Bochum.

Where the regional side exploited gaps in behind the full backs and in front of the defence. Bochum would have Knoll and Benatelli sitting deep and Zalazar patrolling in front. Kyereh would be supported sporadically by the wide midfielders with strict defensive instructions. There would be no number 8 role for the kiezkicker's new number 13 from Duisburg. 

As Lukas warmed up on the side of the pitch he saw a battling performance where the brown and white defence had to ride their luck once or twice. That luck ran out when a dangerous shotcross free kick evaded everyone and snuck inside the far post. A textbook shross.

Second half brought more of the same until Finn Ole Becker entered the fray. St Pauli's little boy wonder. Where before attacks where half hearted and petered out long before a decent shooting opportunity could be created, now Becker drove forward with purpose. His dribbles breaking opposition lines. His passes giving teammates no choice but to drive towards goal. Now we looked a threat. 

The shining example of this came with Finn Oles beautiful dink pass over the VFL defence giving Kyereh a glorious chance he couldn't quite get past the on rushing Riemann. 

76 mins on the clock and Daschner has been called for. Final warm ups complete, stripped and ready for action. Waiting alongside Luca Zander. Schultz is hoping to augment Beckers impact with further forward intent. 

Lukas wil have just 15 mins today to prove he can cut it at this level. The set piece designations are given to him again and Avevor has played a pass just outside of the Wieckhoff's reach. Bochum break with speed and slot home an easy chance. 2-0.

The newfound danger up top was for nothing as the age old St pauli defensive fuck up rears its head again.

Well, no point of defending a two goal deficit. On comes Lukas and Luca. Zander replaces Wieckhoff, the defence swivels to allow Paqarada to take up Dittgens more attaking role and Kyereh now has a central attacking partner in the hole behind him. 

It's the 84th minute. Ziereis takes his first tentative touches since coming on for Avevor and sees no opportunity for an outlet. Bochum sitting on their two nil lead retreat and once again a forward pass has to be deferred for a sideways ball. 

Luckily that sideways ball lands at the feet of Becker. Lukas knows what's coming feints a run in behind and sends a defender off into cover. Becker takes a touch, head up, bang, Bochums midfield plane is penetrated and Daschner is in possession on the edge of the area and its 4 v 4.

Zalazar runs towards goal freeing up space for Lankford, a clumsy one-two is exchanged between the two and Lankford has room for a cross. Unfortunately it's a harmless dink that is bread and butter for any defender, Fortunately the Bochum centre back gets ahead of himself and can only head it feebly down and on the edge of the 6 yard box. He falls as he does it and Daschner has the most golden of oppurtinities. A genuine 85% xG chance. Lukas keeps his head chooses placement over power and

The keeper has produced a stunning save. What a nightmare. This massive chance to kick start the personal objectives of the season. Prove the 11 goals in 3.liga are just the beginning and I can't even slot in the easiest of... Oh Kyereh has fucking roofed it! Let's get back to the center and go again. 

OK, a minute later. Ziereis on the ball again. This time, taking a lesson from his young midfield colleague, bang. A line splitting pass to Kyereh up top and he drops it off to the young Becker spins and runs once more at the Bochum defence. You know what Finn does. One touch, sees Lukas in space. St Pauli are off again.

Lesser men would dwell on the miss before. Doubt creeps in, everything tightens up, just do the simple things well, try your hardest but not too hard. Concentrate but don't over think. Well our new attacking midfield maestro sees our striker ambling forward past him and impudently stabs the ball over the bochum defensive line. The flat back 4 decimated by brown and white movement leaves Kyereh with plenty of space and he is off to the races, finishes with aplomb, and goes off back flipping into the hearts of St Pauli fans around the world.

2-2 it ends after a madcap finale where either side could have won it.

Finally some stats. 

Last season Jos the Boss' team took 2 points from 14 games when they conceded the first goal. No surprises that was the worst in the league. Timo the Supremo's team has already proven to be a different animal in that regard. Schultz made a big song and dance about the pace and youth of our summer signings and the opener proved how this can help our shocking away form.

11 shots and 4 on target is almost the exact same as our 11.7 and 3.91 average last season. The big difference today was xG. In the final 30 minutes we carved out giant oppurtunities and almost unbelievably given the first hour of the game. We're top of the xG For table! 

So blind optimism can slowly be replaced with cautious contentment. Still the aims for the season are low. We must avoid relegation and build up an exciting philosophy of play integrating young exuberant players into the squad.

As a first step it was pretty good.



Four games into the new season and already we've had to put up with an International break. The European qualifiers are particularly terrible, showing all the competitive balance of post Neymar transfer Ligue Un.

But something we can look forward to during these annoying breaks is a St Pauli friendly match. And in recent years a non competitive St Pauli kick about has usually meant one thing. WONDER GOALS!

This week did not disappoint.

Waldemar Sobota no longer gets called up to represent Poland. A frustration that he let out on Groningen's unsuspecting keeper this last weekend. But where does his long range beauty rank in the recent pantheon of kiezkicker screamers?

Number THREE:

Third in this completely arbitrary list is Nehrig's hammer shot this summer.
Fair play to Bernd for keeping his cool after scoring such a thunderbastard. If I had just thumped that shot from thirty yards into the top corner I would have gone full Raheem Sterling. Shirt off, shorts too and straight up those stairs, into the adoring fans sitting on the balcony. 

Also, special mention to the ref for not believing Sobota's theatrics and allowing play to carry on.

Number TWO:

Cliffhanger over, it ranks number two. 

He loses some points for letting the ball get into the opposition half before striking it. Still not bad. 

Number ONE:

What could possibly top that? Well it's Rzatkowski of course. 

I miss the little bastard. I hear he struggles to get in the Salzburg side. 

Can we have him back please?